Relationship counselling for couples

Relationship counselling for couples seeking to improve communication and their understanding of one another.

In my experience couples often leave it too late to come along to try relationship counselling. It is often a last resort.  Yet, every couple has difficult times and many couples go through really tough, tough patches in their relationship.  Coming for relationship counselling doesn’t have to be seen as a shameful thing –  that it has “come to this point “.

Whereas, relationship counselling can be looked at differently!

  • You can experience it as time set aside each week to explore your difficulties carefully together.
  • It is an opportunity to attune to each other more sensitively.
  • A time to develop a curiosity about your partner and to learn how to value them.
  • An opportunity to create something better between you.
  • To reconnect with the reasons why you got together and to decide how you want to be in the future.
  • It can be an opportunity to get practicalities sorted out in a safe emotional environment.

Do you have to be at the last point in your relationship to want these valuable things together?

It may be that you come to the decision to separate, either temporarily or permanently. You will not be judged for whatever decisions you make.  You are the best judge of what is best for you.

Relationship counselling will mean that you will need to be able to sit together for up to 50 minutes and take in turns to listen and really hear what the other is saying. In your turn you will have the space to say what you understand from your partner and what that means for you.

Often couples learn surprising information about each other. Sometimes that is good information and comes as a relief. Other times it is difficult to take in because you may feel naturally defensive in your anxiety.

You will need to practice patience and respect for the other’s opinion even if it doesn’t match your own opinions. Sometimes people decide to agree to differ.

Sometimes the process feels more like mediation.  Counselling carefully recognizes and values the emotions behind what is said.  Sometimes the relationship counselling session is held tightly so that the space feels safe enough to speak. Other times you may both speak freely.  You may hear your communication reflected back carefully and you can decide if that feels right for you. From the dialogue a way forward is reached between you both.

I am happy to work with couples of any sexuality, religion, culture or ethnicity. You need to feel at ease with me too. You need to feel received, heard and understood. You need to feel trust towards my impartiality and my willingness to work towards the best outcome for your relationship.

Some couples want improved communication. You can put in your own strategies for this. Some want deeper understanding of each other. This may require emotional growth, patience, tolerance or insight for example. Some want specifics like to spend more time with each other or to share the housework. So for some people this requires compromise and alteration in values.

While I am happy to share any useful and relevant information I know with you during your counselling process, my opinion about your situation is not useful in this therapeutic process. It is your opinion that counts for you and the counsellor remains generally impartial and accepting of each of you (with the exception of legal requirements).

I will not engage in counselling any couple where one or both use force or harm to bully, intimidate or abuse the other. (In those instances I will see individuals.) For the couple, each individual has to come willingly to the session and value the counselling process in order to feel the benefit.

I offer an initial consultation and assessment after which we decide if we will work together. If so I offer another three sessions after which we review the process to see if more is needed and if we are all willing to continue. Some couples only need a few sessions before they are happy to stop. Others come for quite a while and need to feel supported for longer.

Act sooner than later to improve your chances of achieving agreed success when faced with difficulty in your relationship. Find a counsellor who suits you.